i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
