It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
