Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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(425): View more from Washington

i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant

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(209): View more from California

I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.

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(323): View more from California

dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.

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