Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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