you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
