I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize