I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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