Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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