How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
