Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
