I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize