We're facebook friends in real life
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
