She's JV to your varsity
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
