But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
