We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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