Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
