Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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