Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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