im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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