capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
