pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
