"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
