Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
