Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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