dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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