just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
