spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
