yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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