margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
