We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize