this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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