Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
