Plan B is the new Plan A
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
