eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
