cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
