ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
