so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
