Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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