You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
