You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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