That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
