there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
