I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
