im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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