Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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