You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
