i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
