I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
