a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
