i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
