So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
