I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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