so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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