I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
