she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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