whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
