I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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