Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
