Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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