Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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