Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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