I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
