My hand turned me down
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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