The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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