i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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