Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize