Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
In America we eat man semen.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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