I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
