I just saw a hot homeless man
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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