so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
